The Impossible Task? Finding Balance
Running a real estate business can feel like a never-ending rollercoaster ride with drastic highs and lows, slow moments and high-speed turns. Constantly juggling client demands, chasing deals and striving to be at the top of your game often comes at a cost—lost sleep, struggles with self-confidence, the inability to recharge or step away from your phone and so much more.
Dr. Anancia Stafford, a psychotherapist with 14 years of experience in the mental health field, recently led an eye-opening discussion on managing the mental health challenges unique to real estate professionals.
Her insights offered a much-needed reality check for those caught in the cycle of perpetual hustle.
The Myth of the Always “On” Agent
“We are not our sales numbers. We are not our awards,” emphasized Melanie Miller, discussion host and YPN Advisory Board member. Yet how many have sacrificed sleep, family time and overall wellbeing in pursuit of the next big closing?
The truth is, being available 24/7 isn’t sustainable—or necessary. As Dr. Stafford points out, “Your clients lived 20, 30, 40 years maybe before they had you in their lives.” Setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it’s essential for long-term success and satisfaction in this career.
To break free from the always-on mindset:
- Set clear “office hours” and communicate them to clients upfront.
- Use auto-responders during off-hours to manage expectations.
- Delegate tasks when possible to create more personal time.
- Practice saying “no” to non-urgent requests outside working hours.
- Educate clients on the importance of work-life balance for providing top-notch service.
Redefining Success on Your Own Terms
A powerful moment came when an agent admitted, “I pushed myself hard, not just to succeed, but to be seen as successful.” This drive led to impressive accolades, but also anxiety, imposter syndrome and a gnawing feeling of incompleteness.
Dr. Stafford encourages us to expand our relationship with ourselves, looking beyond external metrics to define our worth. What truly matters at the end of the day? As one participant noted, “When people talk about us at our funerals, they won’t talk about how many homes we sold. They’ll talk about our character—how we made them feel.”
To redefine success in a healthier way:
- Write down your personal values and align your goals with them.
- Celebrate small wins and progress, not just big closings.
- Set non-financial goals, like improving client satisfaction or community involvement.
- Regularly assess your work-life balance and make adjustments.
- Seek mentorship from seasoned agents who’ve achieved sustainable success.
- Invest time in personal growth and hobbies outside of real estate.
More Practical Steps for Mental Wellness
- Learn to say no: Your “yeses” become more meaningful when they’re not given freely to every request.
- Schedule “you” time: Put yourself in your calendar, treating self-care with the same importance as client meetings.
- Embrace the “Do Not Disturb” function: Set clear communication boundaries. If it’s truly urgent, they’ll call twice.
- Be mindful of media consumption: Curated social media feeds can amplify feelings of inadequacy. Remember, you’re seeing highlight reels, not behind-the-scenes reality.
- Invite intrusive thoughts in…then show them out: Acknowledge work worries that pop up during “off” time, then consciously set them aside.
- Hire a therapist: Invest in your mental well-being by talking to a professional. This person is trained to help you develop healthier habits and strengthen your relationship with yourself. You deserve it.
The Courage to Prioritize Wellbeing
Implementing these strategies takes courage. You might face pushback or worry about missed opportunities. But as Dr. Stafford reminds us, “Your mental health is literally the thing that filters everything that you do every day.”
By investing in our mental wellness, we become better agents, better colleagues and better human beings. The real estate market will always have its ups and downs. The question is: are you equipped to weather the ride while staying true to yourself?